“Look for the obvious answer” was a fortune cookie I got from my local Chinese restaurant. It’s something we often miss when we’re under the gun. We think black and white.
When we’re in a positive mood we can think creatively. But sometimes that’s hard, isn’t it?
Let me guess your Monday morning.
87 unread emails—three marked “urgent” that completely contradict each other. Back-to-back meetings with zero time to actually do work.
In your first team meeting, Sarah mentions she’s “struggling a bit” but won’t elaborate. James seems disengaged. Maria asks about project priorities you answered last week.
By lunch, you’ve resolved a conflict, been asked to do the impossible, and discovered another system rollout delay nobody told you about.
You skip lunch to catch up. By 3 PM you’re mentally exhausted with four more hours ahead.
Sound familiar?
Here’s what nobody tells you when you become a manager: You’re now carrying 59% higher emotional demands than your team, yet you’ll receive 12% less support.
You’re the meat in the sandwich—shielding your team from chaos while absorbing relentless pressure from above.
The invisible weight managers carry
After interviewing 80+ senior leaders for The Caring CEO podcast, I’ve witnessed a worrying pattern:
You put on a brave face while secretly wondering how you’ll make it all work. You solve everyone else’s problems while your own stress compounds daily.
And you tell yourself: “I’m the manager. I should be able to handle this.”
But here’s the brutal truth: 55% of managers are actively looking for new jobs. Nearly half say they’ll quit within a year.
I know this feeling intimately. As VP at a global consulting firm, I thought I should sort out my mounting stress myself. I stopped exercising, stopped quality family time, stopped seeing friends.
The burnout came fast. Then a very long episode of depression.
Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s smart
During recovery, my psychiatrist Dr. Robert Fisher taught me something that changed everything: “You can learn to manage—even master—your mood.”
Research shows people in positive moods are 31% more productive and 37% more influential. When you’re in the “Green Zone”—optimistic, energetic, resourceful—you’re a better leader, partner, parent, and friend.
Your wellbeing is contagious
Here’s the game-changing insight: You influence 70% of your team’s wellbeing and engagement.
Not HR policies. Not company benefits. You.
When you model healthy leadership—taking breaks, setting boundaries, prioritising wellbeing—you create permission for your team to do the same.
When you’re running yourself into the ground, your team notices. They see you skipping lunch, responding to emails at 11 PM, looking exhausted. And they think: “That’s what success looks like here.”
Small changes, big impact
My recovery started with tiny steps. Fifteen-minute walks daily. Reconnecting with friends, even when I didn’t feel like it. Every time, I felt better afterward.
Research by Professor Peter Golwitzer shows that if you decide WHEN and WHERE you’ll do something, you’re 300% more likely to follow through. Not “I should exercise more,” but “Tuesday and Thursday at 7 AM, I’ll walk for 20 minutes.”
Three questions to ask yourself this week
- When did you last take a proper lunch break? Not eating at your desk—an actual break.
- What recharges you that you’ve stopped doing? Morning walks? Coffee with friends? Reading before bed?
- If you don’t make time for self-care now, when will you? After the next project? When things calm down? (They won’t.) After you burn out? (Too late.)
The choice ahead
Teams led by managers who prioritise wellbeing see 26% higher engagement and 21% higher productivity.
More importantly, you become the manager people want to work for. The one who models sustainable high performance. The one who’s still standing—and thriving—five years from now.
You can’t control budget cuts, organizational politics, or market volatility.
But you can control how you show up each day. You can choose to put fuel in your own tank first.
Because when you’re in the Green Zone—energized, clear-headed, resilient—you have so much more to give.
And that’s not selfish. That’s the obvious answer.
That’s leadership.
