[Guest blog post by SMART Facilitator Kelly Scullin, CPCC, SHRM-SCP]
The voices inside our heads: some cheer us on, others criticize, pressure, or tempt us. In the moment, these voices can feel like the whole truth of who we are—but they’re not. We are their observers. One way to work with them is through personification: giving them names, faces, or qualities so we can recognize them, step back, and choose how to respond. Come with me: I’ll introduce two of my own inner characters, how they showed up in a hard moment, and a practice you can try in your own life.
Meet My Urge Voice: The Arsonist
She’s dramatic. Intense. Persuasive. She rages almost instantaneously, match in hand, eyes blazing. Her signature line? “The bridges I burn will light my path.” Not cool. She believes destruction is power. Everything is absolute. Nothing is relative. When she shows up, I’ve learned to pause and get curious:
- What value of mine has been stepped on?
- What am I feeling in my body?
- What emotion is present under the flames?
Her fire is a signal, not a solution.
Meet My Recovery Voice: The Humpback Whale
She is vast. Ancient. Slow to rise, but when she does, her presence fills the horizon. She moves with gravity and grace, holding both depth and buoyancy at once. She reminds me that stillness is not weakness, and surfacing for air is not failure but survival. The Whale carries certain truths:
- Choice and resilience: I can influence my path without destroying myself or others. She whispers, “It’s not too late.”
- Interconnectedness: Wholeness comes from softening into unity, remembering my place in community.
- Wisdom: She embodies grace, gentleness, and intelligence, and calls me to explore deeper waters of intuition and inner knowing.
Where The Arsonist burns hot and fast, the Whale steadies.
A Cautionary Tale and the Whale Call
Recently, I felt the sting of a canceled plan. Someone I care about chose novelty over our friendship, sending a text that they had “double-booked.” It wasn’t just about that weekend—it echoed similar let-downs. Whether it was their intention, the subtext—the impact—landed hard: “You don’t matter.” The Arsonist stormed in, match in hand. She wanted to burn the bridge, to ensure I’d never risk that kind of hurt again. But then the Whale—my Recovery Voice—rose to the surface. Slowly. Deliberately. She reminded me:
- This hurt is real, and it means accountability matters deeply to me.
- I can name the pattern without setting everything on fire.
- I get to stand in my integrity, even when someone else doesn’t.
With her guidance, I chose differently. I set a boundary. I spoke with clarity rather than combustion. The ache remained, but I felt the relief of responding from alignment instead of destruction. The Whale helped me see that what hurt most wasn’t the canceled plan—it was the absence of accountability. When someone sidesteps honesty or avoids owning their impact, it brushes hard against my values. Accountability is how we stay in integrity with each other, and without it, the ground between us feels shaky.
EMPOWER: A Practice for the Recovery Voice
The Arsonist will always offer me a match. But the Whale reminds me there is another way.
By personifying my Urge Voice and my Recovery Voice so vividly, I’ve made them distinctive and clear. That clarity matters: when inner strife flares up, these characters become useful guides. I can recognize when fire storms in, what values are in jeopardy, and call on the Whale’s steady presence instead.
That’s what the practice of EMPOWER looks like: calling in my Recovery Voice on purpose. I created the EMPOWER acronym to make space between my impulse and my response—to slow down, listen for the wisdom of my Inner Leader, and choose a response rooted in clarity rather than combustion. Here’s how it works:
- Engage your Recovery Voice
- Make space for feelings
- Practice self-compassion
- Observe your thoughts (you are not your thoughts)
- Welcome choice (you always have options)
- Envision your values
- Respond with intention
In my story, EMPOWER sounded like this:
- E: You are here. Feel this fully, without running from it.
- M: The waves of grief and anger can crest without capsizing you.
- P: Of course this stings–anyone with your values would be hurt. Be kind to yourself.
- O: Notice what’s narrative, what’s fact, what’s fear.
- W: You don’t have to reply right now. You don’t have to burn the bridge.
- E: Remember: you stand for agency, authenticity, cultivation, play, and progress.
- R: You can name the pattern clearly without tearing anyone down.
Your Turn: Who’s Walking Beside You?
We all carry different inner voices. Some push us toward urges, while others quietly offer steadiness and wisdom. Personifying them makes these voices easier to notice—and easier to choose between:
- If you personified your Urge Voice, who or what would they be?
- If you personified your Recovery Voice, what qualities or creatures come to mind?
- How might you recognize when each shows up?
- What would it look like to call on your Recovery Voice more often?
Though reflecting and naming them aloud with others can dampen the activity of the brain’s emotional center, while increasing activity in the brain’s center for logical and executive functions, you don’t have to share your answers with anyone. Simply taking this first step of sketching them out—in words, drawings, or symbols—can begin to shift the balance.
This practice is infinite and renewable. You carry it with you wherever you are. You are not broken. You are, and always have been, naturally creative, resourceful, and whole. Each of us is worthy of noticing our Urge Voices for the cautionary signals they bring, and of calling on the deep agency of our Recovery Voices to chart a path forward.
A Note for Neurodivergent Readers
Not everyone experiences inner voices the same way. If you don’t “hear” an inner critic or guide, or if you live with aphantasia (difficulty picturing images), you can still use this practice. Collect data instead: notice the emotions, physical sensations, and patterns that show up when you feel pulled by urges or supported in recovery. Then create a simple archetype—a sketch, collage, or digital avatar—and give it a name you can call on in the moment.
Prompts to help you track:
- When this voice shows up, I feel…
- The thoughts that run through my mind sound like…
- I tend to react by…
- The outcome is usually…
- If this voice were a character, it might be…
These notes become the raw material for shaping your own cast of inner characters. Whether they live in words, drawings, or symbols, they’re yours to name and call on—wherever you are.
