In 2025, 1 in 10 adults in America experienced a mental health crisis. According to the CLIMB study, a “crisis” is defined as “times when one’s thoughts, feelings, or behaviors were too much to handle and required prompt assistance.” While we can sometimes pinpoint what is causing our mental health to take a nosedive, other times, things can ruin it over time without us realizing it right away.
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So I thought it would be helpful to share the responses from this Reddit thread when a Reddit user asked: “What’s something that quietly ruined your mental health without you noticing at first?” Here are some of their responses below:
1. “Doomscrolling. I feel terrible after noticing that a whole day went by doing that.”
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2. “Being undiagnosed neurodivergent and never understanding why I constantly felt apart from others, always surrounded by people I never really related to or understood, like I was always missing something that everyone else was in on, and why I was constantly being bullied, harassed, ostracized, projected upon, etc.”
3. “A highly competitive and comparative roommate.”
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“I was just going to say, shitty roommates. I live in a studio now, paying maybe a couple hundred more each month than I did when I was the only adult at home. It’s exhausting having to feel like a grown mother or dealing with spoiled teens.
Splitting space can save money, but it’s honestly too hard to avoid crappy people. And, in my experience, awful roommates have a way of costing so much more than sharing space could save.”—RunsfromWisdom
4. “Not having boundaries, or knowing how to set them. People-pleasing. Looking for validation, because I didn’t know who I was or what I liked. It’s really incredible how trauma shapes you.”
“I recently had an 18-year-old marriage end, and I’m only now looking back and realizing how trapped in those exact patterns I was, and I appreciated how much damage was done. To me, yes, but also how much those traits destroyed my ability to be a good partner when under high duress. I agree, it’s incredible how much trauma shapes.”
5. “Not exercising! Even just walking for 20-30 minutes can help you in your day.”
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6. “Bullying at work. I started having my first-ever panic attacks at 40, and it was like, once my body learned how to have them, they never stopped. I left that job, but the panic attacks are permanent now, and I’m on a ton of meds I never needed before, just to get through daily life.”
7. “Constantly being reachable. It didn’t feel like stress at first; I just slowly forgot what calm felt like.”
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“I remember really vividly a day when I was working two jobs, taking classes, and trying to have a social life. It was the early 2000s, and we all had Nextel. So while I was doing errands, I kept getting calls and stuff, and I got completely overwhelmed. I started crying in the damn store. It just happened that the next alert I got was from my now partner. He ended up being able to calm me down, but he said then, and still says, we’re not wired for all of this.”
8. “Constantly comparing myself to others.”
9. “Menopause. I had no idea I was falling into a deep depression.”
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10. “I’ll preface by saying it didn’t ruin my mental health, it just made existing problems worse, but using filters on selfies. I started to hate the way my real face looked because I was constantly comparing it to the edited version I saw in filters.”
11. “Drinking. Thought it was helping until I realized I replaced thoughts and feelings with drinking.”
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12. “Being in a relationship where I was always reaching for them and eventually found myself so far from my own center that I came undone. I was hyperemotional and had difficulty sleeping or taking care of myself. I also abandoned my friendships and distanced myself from my family to protect us from their (justified) judgments about how healthy the relationship was. Things fell apart completely, and after we broke up, I experienced a powerful coming back to self. My body felt amazing without the constant stress. I reestablished friendships and family bonds. I slept like a baby and could read books again. I danced. My heart was so relieved. I vow to never leave myself behind ever again.”
13. “My mother. I was raised to just tolerate and support her, and it took 40 years for me to get away. Now, after years of recovery, I realize how toxic she was and how many lives she had ruined.”
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14. “Going blind really messed me up. I have less than 5% of my vision left, and it’s going and not that good.”
“Me too! Retinitis pigmentosa here, but my vision is not quite at legally blind status yet. Sending you love and support! Remember: We are strong-ass people, us blind/visually impaired people. We’re dealing with a lot of people’s ‘worst fears’ every day, and we’re still doing it, day in and out, and still getting stuff out of life and kicking ass. That’s incredible! And we DO NOT congratulate ourselves enough.”
15. “Staying inside for too long.”
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“Literally this. Just going outside for 10 minutes is so helpful… I get into a rut in the winter months a lot because of this”
16. “I always thought I was immune to medical anxiety. I found lumps last year, which turned out to be benign, and then a new possibility of cancer was discovered last week. I can hardly function with the anxiety anymore. I’ve never struggled with anxiety. It’s debilitating.”
17. And finally, “Gestures broadly.”
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If you feel comfortable sharing, is there something that has been affecting your mental health as of late? Tell us what it is and why in the comments or in the anonymous form below:
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